I now believe I will never see another live Knick win in my lifetime. Most people in this situation would at least be half-joking.

Although I began writing this some time after the game ended, I still sat in front of the computer a distraught individual. The New York basketball franchise is not headed for greatness, or likely even the postseason this year, but every loss I watch is more soul-crushing than the last. Consider these statistics:

-The Knicks have lost their seven straight against the Clippers at Staples Center.
-During recent years, I am 0-9 watching them live, and the team is 2-0 when I cancelled plans to attend at the last minute.
-In the games I have been able to witness in person or on TV this season, New York is 0-8.

Having survived the two hour drive in the passenger seat on Wednesday night, I arrived at Staples Center surprisingly calm, probably because the Clippers have played so well thus far that my expectations for a win were low. At least I knew New York had a shot to beat the Warriors in Oakland in past seasons, since the home team there was always compiling losing records. In fact, the Clips, led by my fantasy star Elton Brand, have chosen the same time as the Warriors to buck the trend of constant misery. These franchises have both started strongly in 2005, and any casual fan will tell you that never happens.

Strong post play by Eddy Curry and a couple of jumpers by Jamal Crawford allowed the Knicks to start strongly despite Sam Cassell’s impressive first quarter. The Knicks proceeded to build an 11-point halftime lead mostly due to poor shooting, particularly by L.A.’s Chris Kaman. It has gotten to the point where I get even more nervous with a double digit lead, because I’m consumed with the fear that it will disappear instantly. As I remarked to my dad at halftime: “I would be quite happy, but I’ve seen these advantages melt away so many times.” Truer words could not have been spoken.

As the third quarter began, the two of us traded observations about the away team. These included the recently activated Penny Hardaway’s high minute total and a relative lack of playing time for one of the newest members of my fantasy squad, rookie Channing Frye. One of the strange things about watching this train wreck of a season is the fact that coach Larry Brown is still developing his rotation. In other words, one never knows who will play on what night: PF Jackie Butler may have seen the court a lot in the previous Sunday’s game against Boston, but he never played on this night. The Clips only cut three points off their deficit in the third, but it represented a period of missed opportunities for both teams. Whether a Cuttino Mobley charging foul for the Clippers or a misunderstanding leading to a bad pass for New York, execution was far from precise. In fact, the outstanding play of the frame was probably Brand’s block of a Crawford layup attempt; Elton finished the night with six.

It’s hard to enjoy the garbage time after your team has effectively lost a game, but I believe I know something worse. The sense that a collapse is imminent before the players have actually gone through the motions is agonizing. Before Walter McCarty converted a key three-pointer, Kaman actually made a short jumper, Marbury missed a lay-in, or the Clippers got a gift jump ball call, my nervousness was unspeakable. When the endgame came to pass, all I could do was nod knowingly in the wake of this déjà vu. The final bucket en route to the 84-79 final, a meaningless tip-in for Frye, helped only in my virtual world. If the Knicks were not bound for the draft lottery once more, this might have qualified as a ‘stomach punch’ game in the immortal lexicon of Bill Simmons. (This term should not be confused with the New York Giants’ triple stomach punch game two weeks ago in which kicker Jay Feely missed a trifecta of potential game-winning field goals.) In any case, it’s likely that only someone with such an extreme record of disappointment would consider the game a blow to the psyche. Still, I secretly rejoiced that I would not get the chance to watch New York face Phoenix live on ESPN Friday night.